The Biggest Mistakes I Made While Caring for My Elderly Grandmother
Caring for an elderly loved one is a journey filled with love, challenges, and lessons. When I took on the responsibility of caring for my grandmother, I thought I was doing everything right.
But over time, I realized that I made several mistakes that could have been avoided with better planning and understanding. I want to share these mistakes with you so you can provide better care for your loved ones without going through the same struggles.
1. Not Having a Schedule
"The downside is that without a clear plan, things can quickly become overwhelming."
When I first started caring for my grandmother, I thought I could manage everything without a structured routine. I assumed I could handle meals, medications, and daily activities as they came. However, this lack of organization led to missed meals, forgotten medication times, and unnecessary stress for both of us.
What I learned:
- Elderly individuals thrive on routine. It helps them feel safe and secure.
- A daily schedule reduces confusion and ensures that essential tasks aren’t overlooked.
- Having a structured plan also helps caregivers avoid burnout by creating a manageable flow for the day.
What you can do:
Set up a simple daily routine with fixed times for meals, medication, rest, and light activities. Use reminders or alarms to stay on track.
2. Stopping Her from Doing Things on Her Own
"It turns out that trying to protect her too much actually did more harm than good."
Out of concern for her safety, I often discouraged my grandmother from doing simple things on her own, like walking to the kitchen or folding clothes. I thought I was helping, but I soon realized that too much rest led to physical decline and even bedsores.
What I learned:
- Elderly individuals need to stay active to maintain their strength and mobility.
- Overprotecting them can make them feel helpless and dependent.
- Simple tasks give them a sense of purpose and independence.
What you can do:
Encourage light movement and participation in daily tasks within safe limits. This can include short walks, simple household chores, or even stretching exercises.
3. Not Addressing Emotional Well-being
"The problem is, I focused too much on physical care and overlooked her emotional needs."
In the hustle of ensuring she had everything she needed physically, I overlooked how she was feeling emotionally. She started feeling isolated, lonely, and disengaged. Over time, I noticed that her mental health was suffering, leading to mood swings and withdrawal.
What I learned:
- Emotional health is just as important as physical health in elderly care.
- Loneliness can contribute to cognitive decline and depression.
- Simple conversations and engagement in activities can bring joy and fulfillment.
What you can do:
Take time to sit and talk, listen to their stories, and engage them in activities they enjoy, like reading, listening to music, or even simple crafts.
4. Not Seeking Help Sooner
"I believed I had to do everything on my own, and it took a toll on me."
At first, I felt that caring for my grandmother was solely my responsibility. I hesitated to ask for help, thinking it would make me seem incapable. However, this led to burnout and exhaustion.
What I learned:
- Caregiving is not a solo journey—seeking support is necessary.
- Involving family members or professional services can lighten the load.
- Taking breaks is essential to being an effective caregiver.
What you can do:
Look into respite care services or ask family members to pitch in. Some useful resources to consider:
Conclusion:
Caring for an elderly loved one is a journey of learning and growth. The mistakes I made taught me the importance of planning, encouraging independence, addressing emotional needs, and seeking support. If you’re caring for an elderly parent or grandparent, take these lessons to heart and make their later years more fulfilling and meaningful—for both of you.
Wallahu a’lam,
A servant hoping for Allah's forgiveness,
—Azura Endin edited by Shahib Amin